Greetings Gamers,

In the realm of crazy gaming possibilities, a rhythm fighting game starring Snoop Lion is up there with things only conceivably when in an alternate state of mind.

Echo Peak and 505 Games are teaming up with the former Doggfather of Rap to release the new rhythm fighting game Way of the Dogg. No, really. Think PaRappa the Rapper with the attitude of the Def Jam fighting games combined with a bit of tongue-in-cheek Blaxploitation and martial arts mastery. It’s best to not think too hard about this one, as everyone knows better than to interrupt a badass during their Kung fu.

Way of the Dogg has no scheduled release date yet, but will be out for XBLA, PSN, iOS, and Android so you can drop both fools and sucka emcees anywhere you go. The novelty and absurdity of this title alone is a huge draw, and could make for an excellent party game if the mechanics are simple enough for novice gamers to pick up and play. Considering most people who will willingly download and play Way of the Dogg will be in another dimension, things should get very interesting once the game releases.

Check out the official Way of the Dogg behind-the-scenes trailer below and head over to the official website for more information.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

As if anticipation wasn’t already high enough, a new trailer has been released for Disney’s upcoming superhero summer blockbuster film Iron Man 3. Robert Downey, Jr. will be reprising the titular role that revived his career back in 2008, to be joined by Don Cheadle and Gwyneth Paltrow as Lt. Col. James Rhodes / War Machine and Pepper Potts respectively. Their foils this time around will be played by Sir Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin and Guy Pearce as Dr. Aldrich Killian.

I’ve got serious beard envy. Just look at that marvelous thing.

Taking heavy cues from the 2005-2006 “Extremis” comic book story arc, this film will have Tony Stark going down a decidedly grittier path thanks to director Shane Black (writer, Lethal Weapon series, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang). Iron Man 3 is the first film in Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, to be followed by Thor: The Dark World (November 8, 2013), Captain America: The Winter Soldier (April 4, 2014), Guardians of the Galaxy (August 4, 2014), and The Avengers 2 (May 1, 2015). If that doesn’t get your geeky little motor running, then maybe the trailer below will.

Iron Man 3 hits theaters on May 3, 2013.

BONUS:

<<<SPOILER ALERT>>>

For those unfamiliar with the Iron Man Extremis storyline, a kind soul has uploaded the entire 2010 Marvel motion comic to the web. If you want to get a better idea of the story that Iron Man 3 is based off of, or you just want to watch a really cool animated Iron Man movie, check it out.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

Harrison Ford is a ridiculously busy 70-year-old scruffy-looking nerf herder. Aside from reprising his role as the legendary space smuggler Han Solo in the upcoming Star Wars: Episode VII, Ford is also reportedly joining the ranks of Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, and Paul Rudd in the upcoming comedy Anchorman: The Legend Continues. Also new to the Anchorman franchise are Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live, Bridesmaids) and James Marsden (X-Men film series, Superman Returns).

The sequel to Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was announced earlier last year on Conan by Ron Burgundy himself:

Ford is not a stranger to comedies or fake news, having played an anchorman himself in the 2010 Rachel McAdams vehicle Morning Glory, produced by J.J. Abrams. Ford should make an excellent straight man for San Diego’s finest to play off of, and SNL alum Wiig should have no problem slipping into the cast. The newcomer I am most looking forward to is one James Marsden, whose comedic talents shone during his stint on 30 Rock as Liz Lemon’s dopey but good-hearted love interest.

Anchorman: The Legend Continues is filming now in Atlanta, and scheduled to be released on December 20, 2013 in theaters. I’m just proud to have made it through an entire Anchorman-related post without quoting the film.

… must… fight… the… urge…

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

After numerous stories of failed attempts, the latest rumors surrounding Warner Bros.’ egregious mishandling of the Justice League property is that they’re shining the Bat-Signal to call upon The Dark Knight franchise director Christopher Nolan to take command. With Nolan’s billion dollar touch also comes Christian Bale as the grizzly-voiced Batman, and much more faith that this incarnation will be able to go toe-to-toe with Disney’s juggernaut Avengers and Star Wars franchises that have essentially cornered the market on summer superhero popcorn movies.

Warner Bros. is quite hopeful that this summer’s Superman reboot Man of Steel will finally show the iconic hero in a positive light on the big screen. If the movie is a success then Henry Cavill’s Superman would join Bale as Batman, though the other actors to join DC’s pantheon of demi-gods is still unknown. Cavill replaced Brandon Routh after 2006’s Superman Returns flop, and another actor needs to be found after Ryan Reynolds dropped the ball with 2011’s Green Lantern.

We’re still short Wonder Woman, Flash, Martian Manhunter, and maybe even Hawk Girl or Aquaman in a supporting role, but there’s plenty of time and renewed hope that a proper script can come together if Christopher Nolan is indeed going to run the show.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

Every time I’m at a low point, every time I find myself wanting to just give up the jaded world of gaming all together, a beacon of light shines through the fog banks of cheaply made overpriced titles to give me hope of a better tomorrow. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a single game, and under many other circumstances I’d be setting myself up for disappointment, but this isn’t just ANY game…

This is BattleBlock Theater.

Developed by The Behemoth, the company behind Alien Hominid and Castle Crashers, BattleBlock Theater is a co-op / competitive platformer that pits up to 16 players at a time in gladiatorial death matches to escape the confines of a prison island guarded by cats and run my a maniac in a top hat. If that sounds both absurd and intriguing to you, then you’re in for a treat.

Beginning today, The Behemoth is holding a Closed Beta for BattleBlock Theater where you (yes, you) are able to play the game before the masses and work out its last remaining kinks prior to launch this Spring. The game has been in development for years and had playable demos shown at multiple conventions, but this is the closest we’ve been to properly putting Hatty Hattington in his place.

Aside from BattleBlock Theater’s release, I am also quite stoked for the new BattleBlock-themed DLC for Castle Crashers to be released alongside BattleBlock Theater. Can’t Stop Crying will bring Hatty Hattington, a new animal orb, and six new weapons into the mix. Having collected nearly all the characters and weapons for Castle Crashers, including the elusive Rubber-Handle Sword, this is an incredible treat five years after the game’s release and another reminder of why fans love The Behemoth.

If you would like to take part in the Closed Beta for BattleBlock Theater and haven’t applied yet, you can sign up at the official Behemoth website here. BattleBlock Theater is scheduled for a Spring 2013 release on XBLA, likely to be followed by releases on PSN and Steam in the future.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

So apparently my venting yesterday ruffled a few people’s feathers.

Glad you caught that. Maybe now you can understand why when I see news like this pop up on my radar, I have less hope for our digital future.

A “leaked” image began making the rounds yesterday from Kotaku showing promotional material for what some claim to be Ubisoft’s planned 2014 Assassin’s Creed release, which we now know to be Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag. The image reveals a new protagonist surrounded by unsavory characters on a pirate ship, complete with a skull and crossbones flag fluttering in the background.

Isn’t anyone else tired of wading through Assassin’s Creed’s open worlds already? The gameplay has only expanded by inches at a time since the first release in the series, causing more exhaustion than awe each subsequent time I picked up a controller to give another game a chance. Maybe that’s why these things keep coming out, because enough flashy promises of “NEW” and “INNOVATIVE” can sometimes persuade even the best of us. After literally falling asleep playing Assassin’s Creed III though, I am hard pressed to give another anti-Templar crusade a go. Ubisoft has one last shot with Watch Dogs to convince me that their sandboxes are worth playing in anymore.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

Let’s be real about this.

With a full-time job in the real world with actual responsibilities, this alternate online persona I’ve created takes a backseat to me keeping my lights on and water running. I’m not living at home with my folks way beyond the age I should be, nor am I willing to rely on someone else to survive. That’s just the way it is.

I’d love to devote my entire being to blogging about every trivial nerdy entertainment development that I find while browsing the internet, but feeding into my inner geek is only a viable idea after crossing a certain threshold of devotion to the whole idea. That being said, it helps immensely to be passionate about what you’re covering- and that’s what has been wracking my brain as of late.

Keeping with a tradition I set into motion years ago as a struggling college student, I only purchase one full priced retail video game per year. Back then it was about maintaining a budget with a relatively pricey hobby, but now I find that this habit has honed my opinions to only picking out what I would deem the best game for my dollar- a title with an expansive campaign and lots of replay value that doesn’t rely solely on nightly competition with fourth graders to get my fix. While some of you may claim that’s why multiplayer modes are shoehorned (unnecessarily) into certain games, I find it to be an uninspired move from developers solely meant to keep a game afloat until the right people see a return on their investment. This IS a business after all, but as the meme goes:

So now I relegate my geek energy into mostly pick-up-and-play titles that the hardcore headshot crowd either scoffs at or plays only occasionally so that the hipster sect of their blindly devoted miniscule online following of like-minded socially inept homebodies doesn’t get bored. I believe the shorthand version of that hate-filled rambling description was “I enjoy casual games,” but what video games are there really to look forward to this year that are worth my time and hard-earned cash?

Tomb Raider looks like a fun single-player adventure experience, but its moderately positive reviews relegates Lara Croft’s prequel story to a title I’d happily wait to pick up in a bargain bin months down the line. I’m not taking a shot at the hard work anyone has put into the actual making of the game, but there’s as much rush to play this as last year’s Transformers: Fall of Cybertron- and I reeeally want to play that one, just not at $59.99 for less than a week’s worth of play time a few hours or so each night.

Gears of War: Judgement? God of War: Ascension? Grand Theft Auto V? More games I’d wait to find in the bargain bin down the line. I’m sure they’re filled with awesome action sequences, but I have both been there and done those before. The Assassin’s Creed series effectively ruined my expectation of progressively noticeable innovation in game sequels to the point that trailers and preorder incentives (later all sold on a console’s marketplace) don’t do it for me anymore.  

What this all comes down to is finding a reason to be excited about gaming again, or at least a title I can point to and say “Yes, I am eagerly looking forward to playing this game and willing to wade through months of mediocrity in order to get my hands on it.” I don’t NEED a next-gen console this year or next year based on the content revealed so far for a satisfying gaming experience, but I reserve final judgment until I see Microsoft’s Xbox 720 Cirque de Soleil announcement celebration later this year.

BattleBlock Theater really can’t arrive soon enough.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

You didn’t have to see any of the films nominated for Best Picture at last night’s Academy Awards to enjoy the show. Hell, you didn’t even need to tolerate Seth MacFarlane’s tired old Family Guy-esque humor to get past the multiple hour long celebration of films you’ve torrented this year. All you had to do is look out for Jennifer Lawrence, the venerable fish out of water nominated for Best Actress in Silver Lining’s Playbook, to live vicariously at the event.

Like I said, fish out of water.

Having only previously seen Lawrence in 2011’s X-Men: First Class, the second best live action X-Men film to date, I was generally unfamiliar with the 22 year old actress’ body of work or personality off-camera. After last night though, I- an 18 to 35 year old middle class male- am paying attention, and not for the obvious reasons. Sure the dimply young actress looks adorable, but her personality shone amidst all of the pretentious pomp and circumstance of the Oscars to reveal her true self to millions around the world. Maybe her fans already knew this, but as someone who mentally typecast her as a throwaway teen starlet after her role in the Hunger Games movie, I was pleasantly surprised.

Her love of McDonald’s fries was just one of the night’s gems. Upon winning the Academy Award for Best Actress, Ms. Lawrence found herself living a nightmare as she tripped on the staircase while walking up to receive her reward.

Wolverine and Faceman came rushing to her rescue,

but she wasn’t even mad, bro!

Genuinely taken aback from the whole ordeal, she took her public lumps as realistically as you or I would and reacted accordingly in post award show interviews:

I love how matter-of-factly (a-derp-able as Pryde would call it) she is about everything that happened to her, speaking plain English to paparazzo expecting a dramatic reaction or sound bite that will hurt her public image. It felt as if I was watching someone who was dared to go to the Academy Awards by her friends, showed up, and was surprised yet grateful to win the thing at all.

It might be the innocence of youth and inexperience coming through, but Jennifer Lawrence has already got Oscar gold and a message for her detractors:

Attagirl.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

Yesterday, the gaming industry held its collective breath for Sony’s standalone press conference event and its “secret announcement” of the PlayStation 4. After months of speculation, leaked photos, and angry fanboys renewing feuds like oh so many geeky Hatfields and McCoys, Sony somewhat revealed its next console to moderate fanfare and hoopla. Let’s take a look at a few of the big points of yesterday’s presentation.

The PlayStation 4 console was not shown, though the controller design that had magically appeared on numerous websites had its official debut as the DualShock 4 controller. The DualShock 4 comes complete with a headphone jack, light sensor bar, stereo camera, and a Share button for instant digital gloating of your social anxieties high scoring games. The PS4 will be interactive with the PS Vita, mobile phones, and tablets, and will feature online drop-in/drop-out game assist capabilities so your buddies can help you get past difficult levels remotely. All nice features, sure, but I’m still not convinced of a PS4 release day purchase.

Also absent from Sony’s presentation was an official price point and exact release date for the PlayStation 4 (coming holiday 2013), though hardened Trophy hounds can rest assured their achievements will persist even though their games won’t. The PlayStation 4 will have no backwards compatibility, which will make the transition difficult for millions who don’t want to lose the value they’ve invested into their PlayStation 3 consoles over the years or since this last holiday season. There are numerous companies lined up to develop content for the PlayStation 4, so Sony’s not bumping around in the dark with hopes consumers will choose their console like a wayward Wii U. While I still don’t personally know anyone who owns a Wii U console, I doubt that will be the case for the PS4.

In order for me to purchase a gaming system, whether upon its initial release or years after the first few runs of overheating models have been recalled and taken out of rotation, I need solid titles to convince me- and Sony’s got a few big names ready for their starting lineup.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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Greetings Gamers,

The following is a public service announcement from JV and the good folks at NotFNCute.com:

Quit doing the Harlem Shake. It’s over.

You may have noticed the increased popularity over the past few weeks of videos of people doing the Harlem Shake- a 30 second or so clip of one person gyrating like a fool before extras standing around or slightly just out of frame join in moments later upon the dropping of oh so much bass. Using a clip of the song “Harlem Shake” by Baauer, hundreds if not already thousands of groups have been uploading videos of themselves mimicking the ludicrousness of the original Harlem Shake video (see below), joining the ranks of dead internet memes that include planking, Tebowing, cat breading, and Gangnam Style.

Things have gotten a little out of hand. Much like Gangnam Style, which was a fad only three months ago, EVERYONE is now doing it. Also much like Gangnam Style, it’s time to let it go already. If you’re just now thinking about recording a Harlem Shake video, you’re weeks behind the eight ball.

Colbert has done it:

Stewart has done it:

Little puppies have done it:

Old people have done it:

Practically urrbody has done it:

So many people have done the Harlem Shake that Harlem Shake compilation videos are trending alongside individual clips of groups doing the gorram Harlem Shake. Just give it a rest already. As soon as these memes bleed over into the national spotlight, they become as funny and trendy as Eugene Levy awkwardly using slang to amuse midwestern housewives in their 50′s.

Do you want to be this guy?

No? Then let this meme just die out like eeeeeevry other one. You have an entire lifetime to make an ass of yourself on the internet, so why not do something original instead of grasping on to this mess for the few weeks it will be relevant. You’ll thank me later.

-JV

Email: jon@notFNcute.com

Twitter: @JonVenture @NotFNCute

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